SLOW to Speak

We have all been offended by someone at some point in our life. Had our feelings hurt. Felt justified in our anger/frustration/mouthing off. And of course, there is an appropriate and biblically sound way to handle certain offenses, sins, or strife with another person.

But what about when you see/hear/hear about conflict between people you know and love? Conflict that technically doesn't have anything to do with you, but hey, your friend got hurt, so surely you need to stand up and say something, right? There may be a time when this is appropriate, depending on the specific circumstances, but in general, I'm going to say, NO!

Sometimes, the appropriate thing to do is to simply KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Particularly if the situation is under control and is already being handled according to scripture. But there is always that person who feels like they need to be a part of every situation, know all the details and consequently, give their two cents. Even when it has nothing to do with them. Especially when conflicts arise among people in the church. Does it make them feel "spiritual" to get involved and feel like they're helping to mend the situation? I'm not sure. But what I do know, is that I have seen their mouths cause more trouble than healing, and in some cases, lead to more gossip and strife than had occurred in the first place. This, friends, is certainly NOT biblical, Christ-like behavior. Scripture makes it clear that we are to watch our tongue and mind what we say.

"The one who guards his mouth preserves his life;
The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." Proverbs 13:3

"[there is] a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak," Ecclesiastes 3:7

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," James 1:19

Of course, there are times when we do need to speak up and stand up for what is right, or for those who cannot speak up for themselves (Proverbs 8:6, 31:8). What I have seen, however, are immature Christians, who, perhaps in their zeal to be "involved", have foolishly opened their mouths and have subsequently, accomplished nothing. Chalking up gossip to "praying for ____ and _____ who are fighting/arguing/backstabbing..." Who, instead of so generously adding their friends to the prayer list, should probably be seeking discipleship and wise counsel from more mature and experienced Christians in the church. It is actions like this that cause division not only between the initial parties involved, but then their families, then other friends, then the rest of the church. You cannot expect to have unity in your church, music ministry, youth ministry, etc. if people cannot learn and understand that sometimes, there is a time for them to keep their mouth shut.