Saying Yes to the Uncomfortable

Sometimes I feel like I am all talk.  Like I am able to spout the words of Christ, and what it means to live a Godly life, and to be a true disciple, and yet, if you were to take a good, hard look, I'm not really living it.

This is something that has been heavy on my heart for many months now, and has caused me to question so many things.  But really at the heart of it all is this seemingly simple question:  What does it really look like to be a follower of Christ?  As I first started to pray and seek answers, what came out was disgust and frustration with the church in America.  Frustration with people who are content to simply show up for church on Sunday morning, sing a few songs and give a few dollars, and then move on with their comfortable lives for the rest of the week.  Frustration with churches that look so very much like the world, it's impossible to tell the difference.  Churches that have a very different definition of "successful ministry" than what scripture teaches. And people and churches that have such upside down priorities, and have become so incredibly self-serving and self-centered, that their needs and desires and comforts come before the needs of a lost and dying world.

And so, in my frustration, I was quick to proclaim that I had no more desire to participate in such hypocrisy, and that if God called us to serve at another church, there would be no more "church as usual."  That I do not care about the things and possessions and comforts of this world, but rather, care more about serving the God that I love and giving my life for Him.  But oh, how easy it is to say things like this when you are sitting in your comfortable, four bedroom house, in the middle of the suburbs.  How easy to say how things should be done, and declare how church is supposed to resemble the church of the New Testament, when you are not actually being asked to see that through.

But then God called me on it.  Asked me (and my husband, and our family) to walk the walk.  To step away from what we know, and away from what is comfortable, and minister to people where they are.  To make some sacrifices, and some difficult decisions, but above all else, to just go.  To go where God is calling us, even if it is not what we had pictured for ourselves.  Even if it is not anything like what we have grown accustomed to.  Even if others don't understand.   

The past few months have been difficult.  It was not easy to leave our church, the sole reason we moved to Texas in the first place.  It was not easy to adjust to a new schedule, and a new lifestyle, not knowing what was coming next.  But I believe that I can honestly say I have never seen God's hand so clearly in every aspect of our life, guiding every decision, and pointing so clearly to what lies ahead (which we did not even see at the time), as I have in the past three months.  How perfect and deliberate was the timing of every decision, and how this season (though brief) has so clearly been His preparation for us for the next.  

And so, I am now learning that even though God's direction is clear, that absolutely does not mean that saying yes is easy.  But saying yes we are, and even though it is scary, and requires yet another change in our ever unpredictable life, I am very excited to embark on our next adventure, and see what God has planned.  And I have no doubt that I am going to see God work in amazing and mighty ways that I have never seen before. 

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."  Matthew 10:39

A Theme

Plans do not always go according to, well, "plan."  I feel like if my life had a theme, like in a novel or a play, that's what it would be.  And being a type-A, like to be organized, like to have a "plan", like to know what lies ahead type of person, I am fully aware of the irony. 

I know I've written about this many times over.  About all the things that we've experienced in our three years of marriage so far that weren't "according to plan", all ups and downs, and all the times I had my own perfectly great and wonderful plan of my own.  The problem is, it was just that.  MY plan.  And radically different from God's plan.  And I have had to learn to remind myself that I don't want it any other way.

So apparently, this is a lesson that I am still learning, and probably will be learning for the rest of my life.

Because I do trust in God's plan.  And as I continue to see God work out, in the most tremendously amazing ways that only He can, our life circumstances and challenges, I learn and marvel all over again that God's plans are SO much better than anything I could ever map out.  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.  And while a few years ago, I may not have been able to see and recognize this truth in the midst of turmoil and uncertainty, the more God gently and lovingly reminds me of His promises, the more peace I am able to enjoy.  Because now I know for a fact that God will work out the details and always bring us out of the trenches.  And no matter what comes our way, I know we will be better for it.

Now, when I look back at difficult circumstances, or happenings that didn't fit into my "plan," I am able to see how incredibly amazing the Lord was to orchestrate things the way He did.  Plans that I never would have planned for myself, but have proven time and time again to work to the glory of God.  And ultimately, that's all that I want my life to be about anyway.  His Glory.

And so when things look uncertain, I can simply continue in the work that God has called me to in this season of life, because I know God already has everything figured out.  Yes, sometimes it's hard to be patient, and it's hard to not question the timing, or try and work everything out on my own, but if I stay focused on the only things that matter, God will work things out in His wonderful and perfect timing.  And so I am able to rest in the peace and assurance of that truth!

And of course, I have to remember that even once things finally work themselves out, another time will come when life doesn't go according to "plan."  Because that is apparently the theme of my life.  Now I guess all I need is a theme song!  Any suggestions? :) 

Only Dead Fish Go With the Flow

The news was on in the background the other day, and the news anchor was interviewing Sarah Palin.  I was not really paying attention, but I heard him ask about a reporter who has moved in next door to them, and apparently cares WAY too much about how Ms. Palin and her family spend their time.  Anyway, he asked if they have had to alter their lifestyle at all because of him, or if they just "go with the flow."  Her response?

Only dead fish just go with the flow. 

I normally do not like silly cliches or catchy phrases (at all), but I have to say, this saying (which is apparently an Alaskan thing) really resonated with me.  I began to think about just how many ways this applies to Christians, especially in America.  Of course, in life, things happen, and we should try to make the best of every situation.  But that's not the "go with the flow" that I'm going to discuss here.

First of all, Christians, by the mere fact that we have been set apart from the world by God, cannot go with the flow of the world.  

"But you are a chosen race, A royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."  1 Peter 2:9

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  Jeremiah 1:5

As Christians, we are called by God to be His people.  That means we are to be Holy, just as Christ is Holy, and that we cannot simply go with the flow of the rest of the world.  We should not be living our lives in the same way as the ungodly.  If someone were to look at your life, your priorities, the choices you make and the way you spend your time, would they see any difference at all from the life of your neighbor who does not profess Christ as Lord?  What about the words that come out of your mouth, or the way that you spend your money?  Do you talk like the world?  Do you covet material possessions?

Living a holy, godly life is not an easy thing to do.  Especially in America, where there are so many expectations of wealth and success and fame.  But who are we living our lives for?  For some meaningless, temporal success?  Or for the All Mighty, Righteous Creator of all?

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."  Romans 12:2

"For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."  Romans 8:29

Although I fail daily, this is what I strive for.  To live a life that is pleasing to God.  Regardless of what my peers think, or what my family thinks, or what my neighbors think.  It is most definitely not an easy thing to do, but when you stand before the throne of Christ and have to give an account of your life, what are you going to say?  What will you have to show for your time on this earth?  A nice house and fancy car?  Or a life that was full of the work of the Lord?  A life full of prayer, priorities that were in line with God's priorities, and that stood firm in the truth of scripture, unashamedly?   

Another way that this saying is applicable is for the church as a whole.  Churches tend to do things a lot of different ways.  Different styles, different music, different orders of service.  Pastors and leaders are constantly trying to find the "next best thing" to make church more appealing and exciting.  So when a church makes a decision about how to spend it's money, or where to hold church, or what kind of service to have, or what the goal of the church should be, how can you know if it is the right decision?  That a particular decision is in line with the will of God?   

Well, the answer is simple.  The only absolute authority is the Word of God.  Therefore, if something that the church is doing, or something that people in the church are teaching contradicts scripture, then it is the wrong decision, or a wrong teaching.  So as believers sitting in the pews, what are we to do?  Just go with the flow because the leaders "know best"?  Just accept the authority of church elders simply because they hold a particular position in the church?  Of course not!

Only dead fish just go with the flow.

If a church is acting in a way that is contrary to scripture, the people of God are obligated to stand up and stand firm behind what they know to be the truth.  If a pastor or elder is teaching something that goes against God's word, believers have to hold that person accountable and let them know of the contradiction.

Although it is unfortunate to think that false teachings and misguided direction occur in the church today, this is nothing new.  Paul gives warnings to the early church again and again.  Even Christ Himself warned against false teachings:

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.  You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?  Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Therefore by their fruits you will know them."  Matthew 7:15-20

Then, in the 1800s, Charles Spurgeon spoke frequently of the effect of false teachings, and the apathy of the people sitting in the pews:  "Everywhere there is apathy.  Nobody cares whether that which is preached is true or false.  A sermon is a sermon whatever the subject; only, the shorter the better."

Unfortunately, this sounds all too much like it could have been spoken of our church today.  Jesus Christ said that He would build His church, and it is my prayer that the people of God would remember that and stop trying to rely on comfortable teachings that sound appealing, fancy light shows, cool, hip music, or big, expensive buildings to try and grow the church.  And I pray that we would remember that Christ alone is the head of the church, and not any one man or group of men.  

As Christians, we are obligated to stand behind the truth of scripture, whatever the cost, and absolutely refuse to just go with the flow.  We are not dead fish; we are made alive in Christ!  And we should be willing and excited to stand up for what is right and what we know to be the truth.

Fulfilling my "destiny"

I have recently been contemplating the idea of destiny. I have been studying Esther (one of my favorites!) and thinking about the fact that God has placed me here at this time, in this place, in my sphere of influence, "for such a time as this." (Esther 4:14) Well, suffice it to say I have had a rather hard time wrapping my mind around this complex subject. Because throughout the study, we discussed living the life and plan God has for each of us, and being open to saying "yes" when He calls us to do something, so as to not miss out on our God-given destiny. But let's just think about this for a minute. That sounds all well and fine, I mean, who wants to live their entire life only to realize they missed out on their true destiny!? But this question does not even make sense to me, because the God I serve is an omniscient God, who already knows every choice I will make and every path I will follow in this life...so how could I somehow "miss" the plan He has for me? Yet, at the same time, there have been times in my life where God has called me to do something, and for whatever reason, I refused, only to cry out in repentance later. So does that mean that God had planned to use me in that situation and yet I blew it? Of course not! God knew I was not going to follow through with that particular call-I certainly did not mess up His plan!

This all came about as I studied chapter 4 of Esther, in which Mordecai is imploring Esther to approach the King on behalf of the Jews. Mordecai acknowledges that Esther is in a position of influence and could potentially help bring about the deliverance of her people. In his discourse, however, he essentially says, "Make no mistake. God will deliver His people, whether you are a part of it or not." Mordecai recognized God's sovereignty and His promise to preserve His people, and made it very clear that if Esther did not go forward, God would just use someone else. So does that mean that if Esther had refused she was completely missing out on the entire reason God had placed her in her position of royalty in the first place?

Hopefully now you can see how complicated this question is, and why I have had such a hard time understanding "my destiny." Thankfully, however, God is good, and has recently given me peace on this subject, as He is always faithful to do. Yesterday I was studying the life of Moses and yet again this subject of destiny (in the online Bible Study, "I Am So you don't have to be," see button), and I noticed something interesting. In Acts 7:23, it states, "But when he was approaching the age of forty, it entered his mind [Moses] to visit his brethren, the sons of Israel." Why in the world did it suddenly, at 40 years of age, occur to him to go and check on the Jews? Because God had a plan for him, and knew that the time was finally right to begin preparing him for the deliverance of his people. God Himself put that thought and desire in his head! Philippians 2:13 states, "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." God motivates my desires and my actions to accomplish His good and perfect will. I don't have to worry about somehow missing something He has planned for my life, or fret about making the right decisions...God knows exactly what He will accomplish in and through me, and He will guide me every step of the way. That's what makes me different from other wonderful Christian women-the desires God places on my heart! Not everyone has a love and desire to serve in Central America. Just as God has never given me a desire to serve in the Middle East. But that's ok. God knows where He wants His people to be, and He will make sure we get there! And maybe this is why, for some strange reason, I suddenly have the desire to write and post my thoughts on this blog-because trust me, I have NEVER had even a remote desire to write before! I guess I will just wait and see where God leads me. :)