Eventually

even·tu·al·ly

adverb

: at an unspecified later time : in the end

I hate that word.  I guess because I am so very impatient.  But I want to know what's going to happen now, not eventually.  I'm trying very hard to take things day by day, but not knowing what's going to happen with the holes in his heart, and with his lungs, makes it so difficult.  I really hate that word, eventually.  In fact, I'm so tired of hearing that word, I could scream.

When will his PDA close?  Eventually.

When will he be able to breathe on his own?  Eventually.

When will he be able to breastfeed?  Eventually. 

When will he be off the CPAP for good?  Eventually.

When will he be able to be on a regular feeding schedule?  Eventually.

When will the hemorrhage in his head clear up?  Eventually.

When will we know if his heart will need surgery?  Eventually.

When will he be able to breathe without any alarms going off?  Eventually.

When, oh when, will I be able to bring him HOME?  Eventually.

And just when exactly is eventually?  Eventually.