Saying Yes to the Uncomfortable

Sometimes I feel like I am all talk.  Like I am able to spout the words of Christ, and what it means to live a Godly life, and to be a true disciple, and yet, if you were to take a good, hard look, I'm not really living it.

This is something that has been heavy on my heart for many months now, and has caused me to question so many things.  But really at the heart of it all is this seemingly simple question:  What does it really look like to be a follower of Christ?  As I first started to pray and seek answers, what came out was disgust and frustration with the church in America.  Frustration with people who are content to simply show up for church on Sunday morning, sing a few songs and give a few dollars, and then move on with their comfortable lives for the rest of the week.  Frustration with churches that look so very much like the world, it's impossible to tell the difference.  Churches that have a very different definition of "successful ministry" than what scripture teaches. And people and churches that have such upside down priorities, and have become so incredibly self-serving and self-centered, that their needs and desires and comforts come before the needs of a lost and dying world.

And so, in my frustration, I was quick to proclaim that I had no more desire to participate in such hypocrisy, and that if God called us to serve at another church, there would be no more "church as usual."  That I do not care about the things and possessions and comforts of this world, but rather, care more about serving the God that I love and giving my life for Him.  But oh, how easy it is to say things like this when you are sitting in your comfortable, four bedroom house, in the middle of the suburbs.  How easy to say how things should be done, and declare how church is supposed to resemble the church of the New Testament, when you are not actually being asked to see that through.

But then God called me on it.  Asked me (and my husband, and our family) to walk the walk.  To step away from what we know, and away from what is comfortable, and minister to people where they are.  To make some sacrifices, and some difficult decisions, but above all else, to just go.  To go where God is calling us, even if it is not what we had pictured for ourselves.  Even if it is not anything like what we have grown accustomed to.  Even if others don't understand.   

The past few months have been difficult.  It was not easy to leave our church, the sole reason we moved to Texas in the first place.  It was not easy to adjust to a new schedule, and a new lifestyle, not knowing what was coming next.  But I believe that I can honestly say I have never seen God's hand so clearly in every aspect of our life, guiding every decision, and pointing so clearly to what lies ahead (which we did not even see at the time), as I have in the past three months.  How perfect and deliberate was the timing of every decision, and how this season (though brief) has so clearly been His preparation for us for the next.  

And so, I am now learning that even though God's direction is clear, that absolutely does not mean that saying yes is easy.  But saying yes we are, and even though it is scary, and requires yet another change in our ever unpredictable life, I am very excited to embark on our next adventure, and see what God has planned.  And I have no doubt that I am going to see God work in amazing and mighty ways that I have never seen before. 

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."  Matthew 10:39