Fulfilling my "destiny"

I have recently been contemplating the idea of destiny. I have been studying Esther (one of my favorites!) and thinking about the fact that God has placed me here at this time, in this place, in my sphere of influence, "for such a time as this." (Esther 4:14) Well, suffice it to say I have had a rather hard time wrapping my mind around this complex subject. Because throughout the study, we discussed living the life and plan God has for each of us, and being open to saying "yes" when He calls us to do something, so as to not miss out on our God-given destiny. But let's just think about this for a minute. That sounds all well and fine, I mean, who wants to live their entire life only to realize they missed out on their true destiny!? But this question does not even make sense to me, because the God I serve is an omniscient God, who already knows every choice I will make and every path I will follow in this life...so how could I somehow "miss" the plan He has for me? Yet, at the same time, there have been times in my life where God has called me to do something, and for whatever reason, I refused, only to cry out in repentance later. So does that mean that God had planned to use me in that situation and yet I blew it? Of course not! God knew I was not going to follow through with that particular call-I certainly did not mess up His plan!

This all came about as I studied chapter 4 of Esther, in which Mordecai is imploring Esther to approach the King on behalf of the Jews. Mordecai acknowledges that Esther is in a position of influence and could potentially help bring about the deliverance of her people. In his discourse, however, he essentially says, "Make no mistake. God will deliver His people, whether you are a part of it or not." Mordecai recognized God's sovereignty and His promise to preserve His people, and made it very clear that if Esther did not go forward, God would just use someone else. So does that mean that if Esther had refused she was completely missing out on the entire reason God had placed her in her position of royalty in the first place?

Hopefully now you can see how complicated this question is, and why I have had such a hard time understanding "my destiny." Thankfully, however, God is good, and has recently given me peace on this subject, as He is always faithful to do. Yesterday I was studying the life of Moses and yet again this subject of destiny (in the online Bible Study, "I Am So you don't have to be," see button), and I noticed something interesting. In Acts 7:23, it states, "But when he was approaching the age of forty, it entered his mind [Moses] to visit his brethren, the sons of Israel." Why in the world did it suddenly, at 40 years of age, occur to him to go and check on the Jews? Because God had a plan for him, and knew that the time was finally right to begin preparing him for the deliverance of his people. God Himself put that thought and desire in his head! Philippians 2:13 states, "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." God motivates my desires and my actions to accomplish His good and perfect will. I don't have to worry about somehow missing something He has planned for my life, or fret about making the right decisions...God knows exactly what He will accomplish in and through me, and He will guide me every step of the way. That's what makes me different from other wonderful Christian women-the desires God places on my heart! Not everyone has a love and desire to serve in Central America. Just as God has never given me a desire to serve in the Middle East. But that's ok. God knows where He wants His people to be, and He will make sure we get there! And maybe this is why, for some strange reason, I suddenly have the desire to write and post my thoughts on this blog-because trust me, I have NEVER had even a remote desire to write before! I guess I will just wait and see where God leads me. :)