Let's be honest...

Ok, so scripture has a lot to say about jealousy. For instance: "Let us behave decently, as in the daytime...not in dissension and jealousy." Romans 13:13. Or: "You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?" 1 Corinthians 3:3. And so on and so on. So, I think it's safe to say that jealousy is not really seen as an admirable character trait, or something the godly, mature Christian is aspiring to. But does it always have to be an emotion worthy of condemnation?

Because let's be honest...sometimes I get jealous.

But not in a oh-my-gosh-that's-so-not-fair-that-I-can't-have-what-you-have kind of way. No, I don't ever get jealous like that. (Well, at least that's not what I'm talking about tonight...I am human, after all). But, surely I can be jealous in a righteous, Christian, I'm-so-proud-of-what-you're-doing-and-wish-I-could-do-it-too, kind of way, right? Maybe?

Because if I am totally, completely, from the bottom of my heart, honest today, I would have to say that I am struggling with jealousy.

In the past few days, some dear friends of ours packed their bags/tubs/backpacks, boarded a plane, flew to Nicaragua, and then proceeded to get settled in for their new life in the heart of Central America. Let me be clear: they not only flew to Nicaragua, they moved there. To live. To serve. To love. And yes, suffice it to say, I am just the tiniest bit jealous. Ok, maybe more than a tiny bit. Because as much as I love Texas (like Texas?), Nicaragua is where my heart is. I was admiring their recently updated photos tonight and found myself pining for the beauty of the beaches, the hustle and bustle of the city, and the take-your-breath-away (due in part to the gushing sulfur pouring out of its mouth and into your lungs) volcanoes. Ah, how I wish I was there.

I mean, look at that view!

Isn't it beautiful?

Such sweet children, ready and willing to serve the Lord. What a precious sight!

Sigh. Oh well. I guess for tonight I will just have to pray for forgiveness of my jealous heart, and for the protection and provision of my friends. And, of course, begin the countdown until I get to visit and share in everything they are accomplishing!