Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

That is what it feels like.  I know that every single day my little boy is getting stronger and more mature, so we are never actually moving backward, but today, that is what it feels like. 

Last week was a roller coaster as the doctors tried to take him off the CPAP, but when he struggled, put him back on, then tried to move more slowly, until they were able to take him off again on Friday.  After so much back and forth, I tried to remind myself that it might not be off for good, if it still seemed that he was still not quite ready.  But after being completely off for a couple days, and having the equipment taken away, I felt sure that he was ready and able to breathe without it.  The doctors had then decided that they would try to get him back on a regular feeding schedule today, so I was sure that all would go as planned, and I could start teaching him how to eat later this week.  

But of course, plans change.  Especially for a small, premature baby, who is still learning how to live outside of the womb.  Early this morning, he had a spell of apnea and oxygen desaturation, so his doctor decided he had been taken off too soon, and put the CPAP back on. 

So, we are going to start over, moving very very slowly, only taking it off for an hour at a time.  Which means that no changes will be made to his feeding schedule yet.  Which also means that he is not ready to start learning to eat yet.  Which also means that he will still be here for a while.  Sigh.

Right now, we will just continue to take things one day at a time.  Maybe just a couple more days on the CPAP will be all that he needs.  He is still pretty young to be off and completely breathing on his own, so more time with just a little extra support will probably be better for him in the long run, anyway.  Thanks for your continued prayers!