God's grace really is sufficient.
In the midst of complete and utter chaos, God carried me. I began the school year one week before school started, with virtually no supplies or direction. I had nothing. No lesson plans, no materials, and for awhile, no computer or copier! And to top it off, for some reason the school did not have a teacher edition for one of our textbooks. So I had literally the exact same thing as my students. It was a struggle to stay on top of it all. I constantly felt like I was only a few days ahead of the students, and then had to come home and take care of three screaming toddlers who were trying to get used to the fact that Mommy was not at home with them any more.
But slowly (very slowly), I learned to stop trying to do it all and to focus on the things that mattered. I did the best with the time and resources that I had, and relied on God for the rest. And He carried me. And revealed Himself to me over and over again. And I think, for the first time in my life, I am beginning to understand Paul's explanation of true contentment in Christ (Philippians 4:10-13). And for this, I am eternally grateful.
You cannot show God's love and forgiveness if you are never around people.
Yes, when I am home, I can show God's love and mercy and forgiveness to my children and husband, but I should be doing that anyway, right? Being out in the "real world," with cranky, moody and sometimes difficult teenagers (whom I love dearly!) forced me to put my faith into practice each and everyday. I was constantly challenged to exhibit the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control) because, like it or not, they were watching me!
If I am constantly preaching the gospel of Christ to them, and sharing scripture, and learning together what it means to be a Christian, and yet I behave in an utterly un-Christlike manner day after day, what does that say about my faith? What kind of hypocrite does that make me? And more than not wanting to be hypocritical, I did not want to give a bad name to my Savior and His power to change lives. Not that I lived out my faith perfectly, (or even close to perfect, really), but it was at least in the forefront of my consciousness everyday. And I am grateful to God and my students for the ways that I have grown in my faith this year as a result.
I relearned the value of hard work.
Obviously, being home with three small children is hard work. But I think, over time, because of the lack of deadlines and external requirements that school or work will put on you, I had become lazy. Because there was nothing pressing, things always seemed to get put off until tomorrow.
But I quickly learned that juggling a full time job with being a full time mom required hard work and discipline. Because I was so busy, things could not simply get put off until later. When I was at work, I had to get ALL my work done, because I couldn't (and wouldn't) do it at home. When I was at home, I had to clean up, wash dishes, put away laundry, etc. because I was gone all day at work. I learned to be disciplined with my time and to plan ahead as much as possible. Eventually, I realized just how much I could get done before 8 am!
And I realized that there was a peace and joy that I experienced when I was disciplined and hard working because I was doing it for God. Anything that is hard or challenging will become a drudgery if I work at it with the wrong heart attitude or the wrong motivations. But if I realize that everything I am doing can be a way to glorify God and show my thankfulness and devotion to Christ, I have a whole new passion and willingness to get the work done! As Paul states in Colossians,
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."I have been incredibly blessed this year and had so many valuable experiences. But I am also looking forward to a fun, yet productive summer with my babies!
