Her Birth Story

Although a surprise early birth was not in our plans, I rest in the unfailing truth that it was always in God's plan, and that His hand was divinely orchestrating every detail. 

I had every reason to be confident that this baby would be a healthy, full term baby.  I waited a "normal" amount of time before getting pregnant again.  I took my vitamins and drank water.  Every test and measurement for everything was normal: weight, blood pressure, glucose, baby, etc.  I was checked and measured almost weekly by the doctor and was cleared by the high-risk specialist.  There were no problems, no complications, no concerns. 

And yet, on Sunday, January 27th, I began to have contractions.  I changed positions, walked around, laid down, anything to try and make them go away, but it was no use.  They were coming and they were starting to get painful.  These were clearly not braxton hicks pains, and so we headed to the hospital.  Even though I knew it was still too early, I was surprisingly calm.  I told my husband that I was in labor, and we may very well be having the baby that night.  You see, with every other pregnancy I just did not feel contractions at all until I was very far along.  Way too far along to try and stop things.  This has led to very fast and dramatic births.  I was trying to prepare for this, as I feared I may be too far along by the time we got to the hospital.

This was not the case, however.  By God's grace, I was only 2.5 centimeters when we arrived, and I began to hope that maybe we could get the medicine in me in time and stop whatever was going on.  So that is exactly what my doctor tried to do.  Slowly, we began to see the contractions get further and further apart.  By Monday morning they had almost disappeared completely.

And so, I spent all day Monday drugged up in bed, so nauseous I could not sit up or even roll over.  I was not allowed to eat, so I did my best to sleep and remind myself that if this worked, it meant more time for the baby to grow and develop.

Unfortunately, early Monday evening, I began to feel contractions again.  I could tell they were starting to pick up and I began to suspect that labor was going to continue regardless of the medication.  I tried to tell the nurse about the change, but she didn't seem concerned.  I don't think she really understood what I was trying to tell her, which could be completely my fault considering the medicine I was on!    

About an hour later, alone in my room and feeling miserable, I felt something that I feared was my water breaking, so I once again called the nurse.  To my (and her) shock, I was covered in blood.  Everyone immediately set out to determine the cause and see if there was an infection or a placental abruption (very dangerous for me and the baby).  As my doctor did tests and watched my symptoms, one thing became clear: we had to deliver the baby.  And so, still unsure if we were dealing with a placental abruption or not, we began to prep for delivery and (if necessary) an emergency c-section. 

Thankfully, as labor progressed, it became clear that there was not a placental abruption, and at 10:21 p.m. on January 28th, I gave birth to our beautiful daughter.  Even though we did not want to deliver her so early, it was the easiest and calmest delivery by far!  And she came out breathing and crying and healthy, so we were incredibly relieved.

After she was born, we discovered that the placenta was insufficient and no longer functioning properly.  The doctor showed me how it was completely worn out and beginning to calcify, and described it as more of a 41 week placenta than 32 weeks.  Because of this, it is likely that our baby girl was not getting the nourishment that she needed, and so, for her good, my body went into labor.  Although it was not ideal to deliver early, it was actually the best decision for her.  We also discovered that it had begun to separate and tear, but thankfully had not led to a complete placental abruption.

It is so clear that God's hand was in every moment of my labor and her birth, that I am still in awe and praise Him everyday for His kindness to us.  The fact that I was able to get to the hospital as early as I did, the bleeding that led us to deliver and stop trying to delay the inevitable, and yet preventing a complete abruption that could have been fatal for me or the baby, as well as knowing that her early birth was actually for her good, remind me that He protected me and our baby throughout.

It is still difficult spending everyday in the NICU.  It is still difficult coming home and trying to explain to my four year old that her baby sister is still in the hospital.  And it is still difficult seeing families happily leaving the hospital with their newborn babies while I head home, yet again, without mine.       

But I am able to endure and persevere, because of His great love for me and His loving, sovereign control of all things.  And because I have been so unbelievably and richly blessed.

And one day soon, sweet girl, you will be home with your family, where you belong. 

An Amazing Birth

Well, things are starting to settle down as we get adjusted to having a new little baby in the house.  She is doing wonderfully, spending her days sleeping, eating, and then sleeping some more.  In fact, as I type this, all three of my babies are napping.  At the same time.  Pretty impressive, huh?  So I thought now would be a great time to share her birth story with you. 

Let me preface this by explaining (in case you aren't already aware) that labor tends to happen very quickly for me.  And if you think I'm exaggerating, just go and read the story of when my son was born.  And even though I really thought I would have a little more time this time since she would be a bigger baby, not so.  This was the fastest labor yet.  Seriously, it might be a record or something.

So anyway, Wednesday afternoon I went to see my doctor and check the progress of my little girl.  In a week I had gone from 2 centimeters to 2-3 centimeters.  So my doctor (not being a fortune teller) could simply shrug and say,"Well, given your history, I would guess you will not last another entire week, but there's really no telling exactly when you will go into labor."

And so we continued to wait.  I spent the afternoon relaxing, then Wednesday evening ran some errands.  After the kids were in bed, I even went grocery shopping!  Once I was home, and everything was done, I spent the rest of the evening relaxing and watching Psych, still feeling nothing, and planning on going to bed, because we had a very busy day planned on Thursday.  

Just after midnight, however, I started to have the occasional contraction.  Now, for the past several weeks, I have had occasional contractions, so I waited to see if changing position, drinking water, etc. would stop them.  Nothing worked.  So we made the call to our friend to come and sit with our other two, and started getting ready to head out the door.  At this point, the contractions were only slightly uncomfortable, not incredibly painful.  But I had no idea how far along I was or how quickly things would progress, so we booked it to the hospital. 

We were checked into labor and delivery at 1:15 am.  At this point the contractions had gotten much more intense, so I quickly tried to explain to the nurses that labor happens quickly, and we needed to hurry.  I don't think she entirely believed me, but she got me in a room and hooked to a monitor and finally checked to see just how far I was.  Seven centimeters. 

She immediately called my doctor, who arrived within minutes.  At this point, the contractions were VERY painful, and I had about five people coaching me through each one.  My doctor went ahead and broke my water to keep things moving.  Even knowing my history, I don't think anyone thought things would then happen quite as quickly as they did.  It was either the third or fourth contraction after my water broke that she was born.  Not even ten minutes later.  And just like that, labor was over, at 1:57 am!  She was beautiful and healthy and oh so tiny.

Once she was born and things started to calm down, we began to talk with the nurses.  The nurse who helped with delivery was the same nurse who delivered my son.  And the Children's hospital transport nurse who had spent so much time with us the night he was born, and calmed us down and answered all our questions, was also there to check on my baby girl (since technically she was a little early as well).  Turns out, they all still talk about that night, and we're kind of a legend.  During our stay, nurse after nurse came in to say, "Oh my gosh, that was you??" or "So you popped out another one??" or "So are you going to be back here next year?"

Yeah.  We heard it all.

And so we survived.  We have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, and we are finally all home.  Honestly, aside from being afraid she would come too early and we would have another child in the hospital, my biggest fear was that my water would break before we could make it to the hospital.  I have spent the last nine months praying that would not happen.  So I am so incredibly thankful that we made it safe and sound and did not deliver at home, or in the car, or some other place that is NOT the hospital! 

Thank you all for your prayers as well, God heard and has blessed us with an absolutely beautiful daughter!

Anticipation

Just in case you were on pins and needles wondering if my absence meant the arrival of a new little baby, it did not.  I'm still pregnant, and she is still happy and comfortably growing inside me.  Which, believe me, is GREAT NEWS!  But, (did you sense there was a but coming?) I have to say, knowing that things have already started, has made this week a little miserable.  In general, I feel great and don't feel like things are progressing at all (very occasionally I have contractions, but mostly, nothing at all), and if I hadn't known that I was already 2 cm dilated, I would have had a happy and carefree week. 

But I do know.

And so I am in a constant state of anticipation.  Constantly wondering when the day will come.  Hoping and praying it won't be too soon.  But at the same time not wanting to wait much longer to finally meet her.  Wondering how quickly things will progress when they really get going.  Watching every single pain, and reading and re-reading about labor signs and symptoms.  Calling the doctor for false alarms.  Trying to get every single thing that I can think of done before she makes her big entrance. 

Quite frankly, it's exhausting!  And it is been such a long wait (considering I have been so closely monitored and have been to one doctor or another pretty much every week for the past 7 months or so) I'm ready to get on with it! 

But the longer she is inside, the bigger and stronger she will be, so I am trying to be patient.  I am going to the doctor tomorrow though, so we will see what difference a week has made.  So once again, we'll see.  For now I am just (somewhat) patiently anticipating her arrival!! :)  

Jumping Hurdles

From the very beginning of this pregnancy I feel like it has been one hurdle after another.  Checkpoint after checkpoint.  Working so hard to make it to the end.

Make it through the first trimester.  CHECK.

Make it to the halfway point, 20 weeks.  CHECK.

Make it to 24 weeks.  CHECK.

Make it to the point that I had my son, 28 weeks, 4 days.  CHECK.

Make it to 34 weeks.  CHECK.

Make it to 36-37 weeks, a full term, healthy baby. 

At this point, I really have no way of knowing if I will make it to 36 weeks or not (even though that's only 5 days away).  Much less make it all the way to 37!  At this point, that seems like an eternity away, even though it's less than 2 weeks.  But we shall see!!  Everyday that I'm still pregnant I am grateful because I know the longer she is in there, the bigger and stronger she will be.  But of course, she will come when she wants to come, and if it's a little early and we have to spend a little extra time in the hospital to monitor her, then that's just how it will have to be.  :)

In the meantime, I am resting and drinking water, and praying for a healthy, beautiful baby girl.

Making Progress-35 Weeks!

Well my life is completely crazy and hectic, and just when I need to be slowing down and resting, I feel like I'm going non-stop.  But thankfully God is giving me the energy and strength to get things done, because I am sure not able to keep going because I am getting the sleep I need!  Combine bouts of restless leg syndrome, heartburn, leg cramps, with multiple trips to the bathroom, and sleep becomes a rare commodity.  I've heard this is just "nature's way" of preparing me for being up with a newborn.  Seems to me I would be better prepared if I was well rested!!  :)

Anyway, onto my 35 week pregnancy update.  I am feeling great, just the normal discomforts.  Of course.  But I'm definitely having more Braxton Hicks than I had with my daughter.  I guess that's just the third pregnancy for ya.  And although I still feel her move regularly, movement has definitely slowed quite a bit.  She is clearly running out of room!  And I no longer need to receive progesterone shots, which is fantastic!   

But the biggest news is that I went to the doctor today and I am already 2 centimeters dilated and 50% effaced!  Of course, anyone who has been pregnant knows that this does not necessarily mean anything, because some women can be 2 centimeters for weeks.  But considering my history (I've never been pregnant a day past 37 weeks) and the fact that I've had my children so close together, it's pretty safe to assume that this baby will be here sometime in the next two weeks, and definitely by the end of the month.  (Now we are just wondering if it will be before Thanksgiving or after.  Or on Thanksgiving.  Who knows!).

So needless to say, my thoughts have become completely consumed with the imminent birth of our daughter.  Wondering when she will actually join us.  Trying to think of every possible thing we need to have ready for her.  Making sure we are ready to hop in the car and head to the hospital at a moments notice.  I'm happy to report we have finally gotten our car seat, and packed the bag for the hospital, and I have written instructions (that I am constantly adding to whenever I think of any little thing that might happen or she might need to know) for our friend who will be watching the other two while we're otherwise disposed.  So hopefully now I can relax and wait.

Although I am now to the point where the baby should not have any problems (at least no major health issues) if she's born, I am really hoping she stays put until closer to Thanksgiving.  Or even right after.  I just want her to be fully developed and healthy.  In general I am not in any pain, or feeling any contractions, so I am hopeful that we still have a little time.  But we shall see!  I know that God's timing for her is perfect, and I'm just so excited to meet her, I can hardly wait.  :)

Thank you for your prayers as we prepare for her arrival.  I will see the doctor again next week to see if things are still moving along or if it's about the same.  I will definitely keep you posted!

33 Weeks and Counting!

Thought I would give a quick baby update, considering the countdown has begun...at least for me!  This little girl may have other plans of course!!  I don't have any pictures of my baby bump though...maybe later :)

How Far Along:  33 weeks, 1 day

How I Feel:  Overall, I feel pretty good.  Occasionally, I have pain in my muscles and ligaments from the weight of my belly, and because they have been so stretched out and never gotten back to normal.  But even this is not that bad.  I just can't stay in any one position for too long (like in the recliner, or on the sofa, or standing, etc.).  I'm also really tired.  Between constantly having to change position, getting up to go to the bathroom, and multiple leg cramps, I don't get much sleep these days. 

What's New:  Not too much is new these days, but I will no longer be getting the fetal fibronectin tests.  Thankfully, they have always been negative, and so next week I will be to the point where they are no longer necessary.  And even if I had one and it was positive, it wouldn't really tell us anything at this point anyway.  Also, I will only be getting ONE MORE progesterone shot!!  I'm very excited about this, because, well, who likes to get shots??  And they leave me pretty sore and uncomfortable.  The baby is also very active still, but I can tell she is running out of room in there.  And I can tell she is head down now, so that's encouraging!  Now instead of doing flip flops, she just stretches, and jabs me in the side with something pointy (I'm guessing elbow? maybe knee.  I can't be sure)

What Comes Next:  Next week, I will see my doctor for my 34 week check-up, and from that point on I will start weekly check-ups to see if things are progressing at all.  Right now, my doctor wants me to make it to AT LEAST 36 weeks, and at that point, no one will be concerned if I go into labor, and she won't try to stop it if I do.  So I am counting down!!  Of course I want this sweet girl to stay in my belly for the next 3 weeks, but after that, she can join us ANYTIME.  Let's just say I am a little tired of being pregnant, and I am getting really REALLY excited to meet our new daughter!!!

So that's all for now!  :) 

Hello Third Trimester...

By now, I am well into my third trimester.  Exciting, yes, but I am also realizing that I haven't been "this pregnant" in awhile!  Since I had just barely started the third trimester last go round, it has been quite some time since I have made it to this "starting to be uncomfortable, preparing for delivery, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel" part of pregnancy.  And of course, this is my third child (and they have been *ahem* close together), so I'm sure some of the discomforts are a little more exaggerated than the first time.

So I'm realizing that apparently, I had forgotten what this part is like.  I had forgotten...

...not being able to make it through the night without having to get up AT LEAST once to go to the bathroom.

...not being able to fit certain places because of my protruding belly.

...the simple fact that a comfortable sleeping position does not exist anymore.

...that sometimes just drinking a glass of water gives me heartburn.

...not being able to make it through a t.v. show without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

...having to sit and stretch awkwardly to put my shoes and socks on.

...just how difficult it becomes to get myself up off the floor after playing with the kids.

...always being hot.  Always.

...not being able to discern if I'm hungry or not because the baby is taking up so much room.

...sudden jabs to my rib cage when the baby decides to stretch out.

...having to "watch out" anytime I cough or laugh...or sneeze...

...sudden leg cramps anytime I sit funny, or bend my leg the wrong way.

But I have not forgotten the AMAZING, breathtaking moment when the baby is placed in your arms, and suddenly the past nine months and the long, difficult hours of labor are completely dismissed, and it is all so worth it. 

I'm looking forward to treasuring that moment once again.

One Last Glimpse

Assuming everything continues to go smoothly, I no longer need to see the specialist for my pregnancy!  Very VERY glad about that, but it also means that at my last visit we (probably) had our last peek at this sweet girl.  I've been a little spoiled getting to check on her and have so many ultrasounds, so I was a little sad that I now have to wait until she's born to see her again. 

But because I have never had an ultrasound this late in my pregnancy before (28 weeks and a couple days), I had no idea how much we would be able to see!  It was SO COOL, in a completely different way than the first ultrasound, or the first audible heartbeat.  Of course that is always exciting, but she looks and acts like a real little baby now.  We could see her movements and when we watched her face, she had her mouth open and we could see her moving her tongue around!  It was so funny!  And, we were able to see her blinking her eyes! 

Even though I have (hopefully!) a good 7-10 weeks to go, I am so excited and ready to meet her!  :)  Here are a few of our last pictures.  Hopefully you are able to tell what you're looking at!

This is her face, with her arm up by the left side of her head.

This is her foot (which is apparently big, according to the nurse, haha!)

And this is her face again, with her mouth wide open.  You can see her tongue in there!  Looks like we may have a talker on our hands :)

28 weeks, 4 days

Today I am 28 weeks and 4 days pregnant.

This is the day that I so very suddenly and unexpectedly went into labor, and consequently gave birth to my son.

I don't think I have to explain what an unbelievable roller coaster of emotion I am right now.   

At this point in my last pregnancy I was sitting in a daze in the children's hospital, listening to countless explanations of what was happening from various doctors and nurses, and trying desperately to comprehend. 

I haven't really let myself think about it much, but back in the far reaches of my mind there has always been that nagging fear that I would not make it to this point this go round.  That this sweet girl inside me would join us even earlier, and that we would once again face what no parent ever wants to see: their tiny baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

Obviously, I am still pretty far from a full term, healthy baby.  But today, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, because I have made it over the biggest hurdle for me personally and emotionally.  And with all the emotions I've experienced in the past 24 hours, the biggest is thanksgiving!  In the past, being pregnant and staying pregnant were things that I completely took for granted, but now I am able to remain thankful every single day that I wake up and am still carrying this sweet girl in my belly. 

AND, everything is right on track and still going great, and so I feel even MORE confident now that I will carry her to the end.  This past Friday I saw the specialist for the LAST TIME (assuming nothing major happens between now and delivery), and everything still looked good.  I also had another fetal fibronectin test and it was negative, meaning I will not be going into labor for the next two weeks!  So at 30 weeks I will do the test again, and we'll go from there.  :)

So for now, I am resting and trying to stay healthy.  And because I promised some belly shots to my friend, I have a couple pictures to share with you.  If I seem tiny to be heading into my third trimester, trust me, it's just the camera.  And if I seem inordinately large to be a mere 28 weeks, trust me, it's just the camera!! ;)

Halfway There!

Well, today I'm 20 weeks pregnant, which means I'm "halfway" through my pregnancy.  I suppose halfway is a relative term, considering I did not make it to 40 weeks with either of my previous pregnancies, but who knows, maybe this time will be different!  Although if my due date comes and there is still a baby inside of me, I don't really know what I'll do, having never been pregnant for that long before.  Oh well, guess we'll just have to see when this little girl wants to make her grand entrance!

Anyway, so far, I am feeling great.  I'm actually feeling better than I did when I carried my son, so hopefully that is a good sign.  I am still getting weekly progesterone shots, which are rather unpleasant and leave me surprisingly sore, but if it helps keep this baby where she belongs, then it's worth it.  I am also continuing to see the specialist, and as of right now, everything looks exactly the way it is supposed to.  I tend to get a little anxious before I go, because I am so afraid they are going to see something wrong, or start to see signs of pre-term labor, but so far, things are good.  So I am taking it one day at a time, and trusting in God's timing for our little one, whatever that may be.

I also have an unbelievable amount of ultrasound pictures of this precious girl, which I LOVE, but also makes me feel a little guilty, because I am so lacking in pictures of my other two!  Oh well, I guess that can't be helped.  But even though it's not my fault, I feel like it's "not fair."  I guess that's just life, haha!  I will add the picture later, but today we watched as she tapped herself in the head with her toes, completely folded in half.  It was SO cute!!  We could see her toes wiggling and everything!

Here's the picture!

Her head is to the right, and you can see her leg stretched above her body and her foot touching her forehead.  I guess that's a comfortable position for her, ha!

Well, that's all the update for now.  Please continue praying friends!! :) 

The Verdict is In...

We have wondered and inquired, looked and questioned, but we now know for sure, without a doubt, the sex of our newest babe!

This is big news, because it has been the topic of much debate around here lately.  Originally, my gut instinct was that it was a girl.  (For the record, my instinct with my son was that he was a boy).  Then I took a test from the drug store that is supposed to tell you the sex with 85-90% accuracy, and the test said we were having a boy.  Then last week we took a peek at the baby on an ultrasound, but because it was not a super high-tech machine, it was not exactly clear what we were looking at.  After the peek, however, my husband was convinced it was a boy.  My doctor was guessing girl.

Now, either way would have been perfectly fine to us.  We already have a girl, and we already have a boy, so of course, we are just praying for a healthy, full-term baby.

But after visiting a high-risk pregnancy specialist, and looking at our baby with a very nice, in depth ultrasound on a 46-inch flat screen television (yes, it was somehow projected onto a mounted television, making our baby look huge and up-close), the nurse and the doctor agreed.   

Our third baby is a precious little baby girl!

 

She looked perfectly healthy, was measuring right on track for her due date, had a strong heart beat and weighed in at a tiny 6 ounces.  As for me, I am doing well so far too, and I have not had any complications.  I will be going to see the specialist once a week for the next few weeks to make sure nothing is changing, and I will also begin to receive weekly progesterone shots, which is supposed to help prolong pregnancy in women at risk for pre-term labor.  Although, I could not tell you why that is, or if it really even helps or not.  It's a little inconclusive, but it can't hurt!
 
Anyway, I would just like to say AGAIN, that I was right all along, and I am now 2-0, while the gender test is 0-2 (it said my son was a girl).  :) 

Now all we need is a name.  Any suggestions??? 

My Pregnant Brain

If you've ever been pregnant, you can probably relate to the "I'm losing my mind!" feeling that accompanies pregnancy.  Constantly forgetting things, unable to remember if something got done or not, forgetting how to do things you've done a hundred times.

Well, as I'm sure you can imagine, add two children under the age of eighteen months to the mix, and I've really got no chance at all.  So whenever I do something ridiculous, forget to pack something for the kids, or forget for the one hundredth time to do something on my to-do list, I just blame my "pregnant brain."  It's a pretty handy excuse, actually.  For example, over the past couple of weeks, my husband has been (supposedly) asking me to e-mail him some documents.  Yesterday, he asked me, claiming he has asked four or five times, and although I tend to disagree, I simply say, "I'm sorry.  I don't remember that at all!  Must be my pregnant brain.  If you really need me to do something, you should probably write it down."  Is he right?  Maybe.  But if so, he probably exaggerated slightly.  Am I right?  I have no idea.  I really don't remember!  So, I simply blame my pregnant brain.

Here are just a few other things I have done or forgotten lately, courtesy of my pregnant brain:

• Walked out of the house without my shoes

• Forgot to pay our internet bill, which is usually the first thing to get paid

• Left the water running in the kitchen sink, and then walked out of the house

• Forgot a piece of my son's bottle, and thus, could not feed him (several times) *Don't worry, I have either turned around and gotten it at home, or bought a new one while out and about*

• Put my daughter's dinner in the freezer, instead of the microwave

So, do YOU have any pregnancy moments to share?  Please tell me I'm not the only one!!! :)

And now...

...for some BIG news...
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have you guessed it yet?
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annoyed that I am making you scroll down?
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TOO BAD!
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If I had a picture, I would introduce you to
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OUR NEW BABY!

Yes friends, I'm now expecting our third little bundle of joy :)  So far, everything is going well, but of course I will be very closely monitored this go round.  We are SO excited, but I will certainly covet your prayers over the next few months!!

(Don't worry, more details will come, but for now, just sit back and try to get over the shock that I'm sure you're experiencing right about now).

Details.

Wow. It has been a long couple of days! I am currently sitting in the hospital, and thought I would give more of the details of what exactly has happened so far.  Well, as best as I can-I'm not exactly sure of everything that has gone on.

Tuesday evening, I was having some abdominal pain, but not consistently, so I couldn't figure out what it was.  Although I wasn't sure what it was, it didn't seem to be getting stronger or closer together, and I wasn't having any back pain or spotting.  I was also feeling my little boy kicking and moving all the time, so I thought everything was ok.  I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for this week already anyway, so I decided I would talk to her about it then. As I was getting ready for bed, I noticed some discharge that had just a little blood in it, so I decided I would not wait any longer and my husband and I prepared to go to the hospital. Some of our fantastic friends came to the house to sit while our daughter slept.  The last words out of my mouth were, "Thank you so much for coming, we will be back soon!!"

At the hospital, everything was a complete whirlwind.  I got into a room and the nurses began to monitor me around 11:30 pm.  They did a test to see if I was in labor, and while they were waiting for results, checked to see if I was dilated at all.  By the time they checked it was after midnight, and after two different nurses checked, they had to tell me that I was already dilated to six centimeters.  My doctor arrived and they began frantically pumping drugs into me to try and stop labor.  They also gave me a steroid shot to try and help my little boy's lungs develop more quickly.

We were talking with a nurse from the Children's hospital who was trying to keep me calm and explain what would be happening, what our options were, and trying to answer all the "what-if's."  All of a sudden, after calming down a little and turning down the lights, my water broke.  The nurses and doctors rushed me to a delivery room, but as soon as we arrived, my son was born at 1:21 a.m on November 11.  It could not have been more than 2 minutes after my water broke.

As scary as it was, he came out crying and breathing on his own, which was a great sign!  He was also a really good size to be so early: 2 pounds, 14.9 oz, and 15 inches long.  I was able to hold him for the shortest second of my life, and kiss his sweet little head, then the team from the Children's hospital had to take him and get him ready to be transported.

They brought him back before taking him to the hospital so we could say goodbye, and I was able to hold his hand for a few minutes.

Since being born, he has yet to need a ventilator to breathe, which is fantastic.  He is getting fed a little at a time through a feeding tube right now, although can't quite digest it completely on his own yet.  He has had a couple short spells of apnea, but has been able to recover on his own.

The next few steps will be x-rays in the morning of his chest and abdomen to see how everything looks, then an ultrasound of his head on Monday to check for damage or ruptured blood vessels.  Hopefully everything will come back looking great!  He may also become a little jaundiced, so we are preparing for that (he will have to be under lights to help bring his biliruben levels down).  We continue to pray, and appreciate all your prayers and support as well.  It is going to be a long couple of months.  Right now we are thinking he will probably be in the hospital until his original due date (January 30).  But he is a strong little boy who is already showing us his feisty personality!  I have no doubt that God has big plans for our sweet little boy.  I will continue to update as we get more news.     

25 Weeks and Counting!

Well, I am 25 weeks pregnant today, and already ready to be done!  Not that this has been a difficult or challenging pregnancy.  Not that I am suffering from morning sickness or in a great deal of pain (aside from the occasional back pains).  And not that I am even swelling or overly huge.

I just hate being pregnant. 

That's right, I said it.  I hate being pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the joy that comes with knowing that a wonderfully perfect child that God created is steadily growing inside of me.  And I LOVE every single movement and kick and flip and roll that I feel.  But I hate the actual being pregnant part.

I hate that I am constantly adding to the pile of clothes that no longer fit. 

I hate that my skin is never clear no matter what combination of skincare products I try.

I hate that pretty much all food upsets my stomach.

I hate that it takes a good 4-5 months before I have a clearly defined "baby bump," and no longer look like I just gained some weird weight in weird places.

I hate that everyone and their brother feels the need to touch my stomach.

I hate that I never feel caught up on my sleep.

I hate that strange things, like how cute my cat looks sleeping, or an episode of The Office, make me cry.  

I hate that I can't walk anywhere for more than 30 minutes without having pain in muscles I didn't even know I had.

And I hate the number I see when I step on the scale and the fact that there is nothing I can do about it until this sweet little boy is out of me. 

But, I love the fact that God has yet again blessed us with a healthy, growing child.  And I love the knowledge that God trusts us enough to raise him.  And I especially love the moment when a brand new little person enters this world, is placed in my arms, and looks up at me for the first time.  In that single moment, I forget everything I went though during pregnancy, forget the pain and frustrations I felt during labor, and know without a doubt that I would do it all over again to experience the indescribable joy of that moment just one more time.    

So for now, I have 15 weeks until my due date.  But maybe he'll come a little early.  I'll just pray to that end!

The results are IN!

Well, I'm 21 weeks pregnant now, and we are officially having our first............

BABY BOY!

To say that we're excited (especially my husband!) is an understatement. :) Now our baby girl will have a little brother, and we're so excited to prepare for his arrival. You would think that there would not be as much to do this time around, but I still have moments of feeling overwhelmed, like I will never have everything done in time for the baby. We have to start all over-we need another crib, another dresser, another carseat, another wardrobe, and so on and so on...

But that's ok. Because God gave us this child, and I know that He is going to provide for us and for him. Just like every other moment in our marriage when I thought we had nothing left and just when I thought we were out of options, God has provided for our needs and then some. And we are so thankful.

If only I could remember that all the time and never get to the we-have-no-options-left point in the first place. Guess I still have some growing to do ;)

Here We Go Again...

As a new mom there are so many things to learn and figure out and go through after that beautiful bundle of joy finally arrives. Of course the baby basics, like diaper changing, nursing, functioning on a severe lack of sleep. But also figuring out how to take care of yourself and wanting to get "back to normal," post-baby. Healing all those battle wounds, maintaining a healthy diet (to provide for not only yourself but another human being), and ridding yourself of the dreaded "baby weight."

For me, most of the weight dropped right off in the first week or so. But there were these pesky 10 pounds that I just could not seem to lose, and it was killing me because I so desperately wanted to be able to wear my favorite jeans again! I mean I had waited 9 months, wasn't that enough?? So finally I started to get serious about losing that weight and by the time my daughter was 3 months, I was back to my pre-pregnancy body (well, as close as you can get anyway). Then, around the time my baby girl was 4 months old, I got pregnant again.

That's right, pregnant again. :)

Honestly, I was mixed with all kinds of emotions ranging from overjoyed to overwhelmed and everywhere in between. I remember the frantic words, "Are you kidding!? I JUST DID THIS!!" spewing out of my mouth. Not to mention that fact that my daughter was still not sleeping, or really in any kind of consistent routine whatsoever, despite my best efforts. PLUS, she was crying pretty much nonstop, and I could not figure out why to save my life. And of course, there is the morning sickness which for a couple weeks was just about 24-7. So, to say that I was frazzled and over-tired is just a little bit of an understatement. Just a little bit.

But luckily, I have wonderful friends who helped out, and even a friend who didn't even know half of what was going on in my life, but was so incredibly wonderful and took care of my baby girl, no questions asked. And over time, things have gotten infinitely better. The morning sickness is gone, I finally realized that my daughter was screaming because she was hungry (I didn't have enough milk thanks to being pregnant), and we have now had almost 2 weeks of consistent naps, and completely sleeping through the night. Now that she is 7 months old. But who's counting.

So I am about 12 1/2 weeks now, and everything seems to be going well, and come January, we will have 2 beautiful children 12-13 months apart. ;) I know it will be hard, and tiring, but I'm thrilled. I know this child is a gift from God, and that this is part of His plan for our family, and I am now counting down the days til we can find out if we are having another girl or a little boy!

So I may have only been back to pre-baby weight for maybe 2 months, but it will be so worth it 6 months from now when we are graced with the presence of another sweet blessing. And I'm sure belly pictures will be forthcoming. ;) (Eventually). So for now, here we go again!